There's One For Me.

So, of course, I haven't written in a while. What's new about that right? Since I am so busy with opening the residence halls at UIC, I figured I should be allowed to not write for a while. But, since I have a readership of about three people, I figured I should post something.

The other day, I was having a conversation with one of my students and the conversation of love came up. Now, I am fairly skeptical in my beliefs of love. I think the idea of love is a fantastic thing, but I am just not sure how much I believe in the idea of "all you need is love". I am sure John Lennon was onto something there, but is it really something you can trust?

But more importantly, back to my conversation. In our conversation, the notion of "there is someone out there for you" came up as a way of saying "it's ok, because life goes on" sort of tone to the conversation. A mixture of one tablespoon of hope sugar, and a 2 cups bitter juice. It seems like it would be the perfect cool down drink to be able to cope from a loss of a summer fling.

As I sip on my juice that is more part bitter than sweet, I got to think "is there really someone out there for us". As I sit there and talk to my student, I quickly realize that this conversation leads to no where good. Unless we are looking for a pity party, this, "life goes on" crap is only a nice way of saying, "suck it up, and move on". Do, we need to suck it up and move on? Or is there a new way of looking at things??

There are almost seven billion people in the world today. If you assume that you do have one person out there for you, the chances are 1:7,000,000,000. That's a whole lot of pressure that we are putting on ourselves. When two people find each other, they say that "you hear" bells ring and you just "know" that they were meant for each other. Well, I say cut the crap and start being a little more real about this. Life is about finding "some"one - not some"one". If you assume that you are more happy with another person to share your life, why do we put so much pressure on the idea of finding the "perfect" man or woman? What the heck does perfection look like anyway? There must be millions of people out there that are perfect for me. But yet so often, we focus on what we don't have rather than what we do. If the millions of people out there are perfect for me, then I should be able to find "some"one for me too, and eventually have my happily ever after.

I ended my conversation with my student with the idea of pressure and how much we put on ourselves to find that one perfect person. The truth is, just about anyone could actually be perfect for you, as long as you worked at the relationship and strive for happiness. Sure, we have issues with unattractiveness, too much drama, too much attitude, not good enough body, not good in bed, not affectionate enough, too affectionate, too career driven, not driven enough, not nice enough, too nice, too old, too young...If we look at anyone, we could make it work. Trying to find that "one special person" only make it that much more difficult for you to search for happiness. It's virtually like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Why not just try the hay, and live life on a little on the edge? Hay Yeah... :)