Single and Happy.

I was having sushi for dinner with Eron, Blake and Brian, and the conversation of relationships was brought up. Whenever I seem to have dinner with Eron and Brian it seems like the conversation is always something intriguing. Anyway, in the conversation, we talked about what it means to be happy and feel complete. I understand that these are too different things, and there are huge amounts of complications and psychological theory that has been written about these two issues. But, never the less, I need to try to make sense of this idea in my own words to satisfy my mind.

Eron brought up the idea that life doesn't seem to ever be complete when you are single. Now, let's set this scene up. Eron, Single, Blake & Brian, together with each other, and me, single. At this point of the conversation, Blake and I both chime in and tell Eron that you have to be complete on your own before you can truly be with someone, and only you can complete yourself. You can't be searching for something to complete you, but you have to be able to complete your self.

There is the famous scene/line in the movie "Jerry McGuire" where two deaf people are signing to each other in the elevator while Tom Cruise and Renee Zelwinger are heading down the elevator. Tom asks Renee "I wonder what they were talking about", and Renee says "They said 'you complete me." Clearly this is an example of what Eron is talking about. So, do Blake and I have a case? Do, we actually need someone else to complete our own lives? Or is the responsibility of completion truly a individual task?

If being complete requires a companionship, then that means that potentially many of us aren't living a full life. However, if companionship does not require completion, then many of us are with someone for the wrong reason. And if being complete is the source of happiness, then does that mean we truly can not be happy unless we are with someone?

As I ask this question, I thought about this over and over in mind head. Can someone truly be happy and single? Can we ever say that honestly? There is that argument with people that say "looks aren't important, as long as there is the personality" but yet, if you dig deep inside to the back corner of your heart, there is that little something that says that looks do actually matter to you, and you have to be attracted to someone at the most basic level to even be together with someone. On the same level of honesty, is being single ok with anyone? Yes people can argue that some people "aren't ready to date" or "getting over a old relationship" but while they are waiting, or getting over something, does that postpone their happiness, or even dissolve their sadness?

Does Eron have a case here? Is Eron onto something, and am I the one that has convinced myself with the self fulfilling prophesy that I am postponing my own happiness by faking my honest feelings and coming up with a lousy and melodramatic excuse of "trying to be happy with myself" medicine? What if Eron is right? What if we do need companionship to truly find happiness in our life? Does that mean that those of us that can't find companionship can't find happiness either? In the most basic things in life, is there something more satisfying than a true love? I guess the great Beatles once said "Can't by me love" and thus, is this the basic need that we need in our life that creates something that we need to express?

Maybe I need to be more like Eron in life. To not settle for the easy answer and in fact the less honest answer, but to put my true feelings out be more up front with myself. I wish I could be more like Eron in my life where he isn't scared to admit that he needs someone to complete his life. I am not sure if I believe that I need someone to complete my life, but there is a dishonest side of me if I said I was happily single. Looking to complete myself on my own terms is just a fancy way of saying I have issues and I am not confident enough to show those things to others. Well, let me be the first to admit that I have tons of issues and they aren't that pretty. But yet, if I am looking for that perfect moment that I feel complete, then maybe that perfect someone might be long gone, or even I may be too late. I only live once, and I need to start being honest with myself and stop kidding around about what it is that I believe in.

Thanks Eron for being so upfront and honest with me.